The reddish orange Yugo sputtered and spat its way through and oh so slowly through the winding hills of Litchfield County, CT.
Irv, its proud driver swiped a handkerchief out of his multi-plaid crumpled shirt pocket and blew his bulbous nose afflicted with rosacea. He was definitely a contender for the Karl Malden look alike contest.
Polly, his sweet yet slightly dim-witted wife donned a huge beige sunhat with assorted colorful flowers and fauna- a tribute to Audubon. Her long platinum blond hair and white make up made her look like a porcelain doll with ruby red lips.
Normally Irv had the patience of a Saint with Polly, but for some reason his nerves were slightly on edge since he surrendered pipe smoking less than a week ago.
"Was that someone beeping the horn at us, hon?" Polly chimed.
Irv grumbled and muttered "Just my nose- just my nose."
"Oh I could have sworn it was another driver or even a goose!"
He sighed and suddenly sniffed the air like a bloodhound as they entered town.
"Hey Pol- do you smell something like burnt rubber?"
"I didn't know condoms could do that, Irv!"
"Polly...listen to me - rubber as in tire - don't you unders-" Before he could continue, the Yugo screeched, joggled and KAPLOOM! The right front Goodyear had blown to smithereens.
Miraculously Irv swerved the vehicle into a ditch with a tiny shopping plaza in the near distance.
"Whew- close one, and we don't even have a spare."
Polly excited from their adventure, pointed quickly towards the plaza.
"Irv! I've got it. Look! A bakery! Maybe they can sell us a donut for our car!"
Irv took a deep breath, glared at Polly and monotoned..."cinnamon or French twist."
Oh Jan--that was funny!! LMAO!! Great write... Cheers, Jenn
ReplyDeleteHa! Irv really is patient! :O)
ReplyDeleteLMAO, I almost swallowed my tongue when Polly said she didn't know condoms could do that. LOLOLOL this was brilliant!
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://www.thetruckerswife.com/
*chuckle* That was very funny, Jan, Bless Irv, I suspect the rest of his day is probably gonna follow suit!
ReplyDeleteWow - yours is so different than the others. Great concept and funny, too!
ReplyDeleteCute, cute, cute!
ReplyDeleteFunny and love cinnamon!
ReplyDeletea burnt rubber.......humm LOLOLOLOLOL
ReplyDeletejan...hey i joined 5 of your sites now...ummm you gonna stay with one of them or make a new one each week? LOL
love you! can't wait for October and SEE YOU!!